25 years ago

Twenty five years ago was 1992.  

1992 was the spring semester of my sophomore year and the fall my junior year of college. I was a Communications/Journalism major with an emphasis on Radio/TV (particularly TV) at Shippensburg University. 

I was dating my husband for most of that year. Sophomore year I was living in the all girls dorm McLean Hall. Junior year I moved into Seavers Apartments. Six people to an "apartment." Two bedroom (3 to a room), 2 bathrooms and one living area. We didn't have a kitchen but there was space for our dorm size fridges. My main roomie was June. We lived together for three years. 

I was very involved with Circle K, which is the college affiliate of Kiwanis International. I held a couple of positions at the club level. At this time I was probably Social/K Family Chair and Membership Chair. Social chair – I was responsible for planning parties for the club. When other clubs or district officers came to visit I was in charge of planning a get together for them. K-Family meant I was the liaison to our host Kiwanis club and educate the club on the K-Family. Membership chair was fun. I would be in charge of having volunteers for a table at the activity fair at the start of the fall semester. Pretty much I was in charge of coming up with ways to recruit new members on campus. Since I was a Communications major and specializing in television I decided to make a membership video for our club. Something we could play at recruitment fairs and special events. I shot video of various club activities – service projects, meetings, socials and then put it all together with fun music. I am sure I broke several copyright laws with that, but hey, I was a college student and we were not charging money to view it. 

SUTV (Shippensburg University Television) was the campus television station that I worked at as well. There I learned how to write news reports & commercials, film, edit, and produce. I learned more there than I did in the classroom. Not sure I had a specific position in 1992. Eventually I became Business Manager Executive Producer of University Productions, our in-house production company. 

I loved all four years at Shippensburg University. It was a wonderful place to go to school and live. 

21 years ago

Twenty one years ago was 1996.  I was 23 years old. In 1996 I was working for The Salvation Army Eastern PA and Delaware Divisional Headquarters in Philadelphia. At that time I was probably Public Relations/Special Events Coordinator. My PR director and Special Events director each quit and they were not replaced right away. Eventually there was a new PR director hired later that year I think. 

I was dating my husband David and in May of that year we got engaged. August 1996 my paternal grandfather was diagnosed with brain cancer. December 1996 my family threw me a bridal shower at my Aunt Gerri's house. Right before my husband proposed I bought my first brand new car. A 1996 Dodge Neon, 4 door, fire engine red. I loved it! In the fall of 1996 we began seriously looking for a house in Lebanon County where we would live. By December we found our first home and would make settlement on it in January 1997. 

23 years old. We were babies. I didn't know a darn thing about getting married and owning a house, but I started learning. 

21 years ago. We were just starting to plan our future life together. My how time flies. 

Where were you? What were you doing 21 years ago?

Take Care of Each Other

There is a lot going on in the news these days with our new President and his Administration. "Alternative facts" is now a thing. Okay. Federal agencies are being restricted on news releases and social media updates to the public. That is not good. Not good at all.

I believe strongly that regardless of the political party that holds the majority we should take care of each other. I don't think government should do everything for its people,but that it should at least encourage its citizens to look out for one another and cheer on non profits that want to help. I also believe that many of the social issues that are dominating the air waves and the recent Womens' March are linked together.

I started a list with one thing as the initial item, but I am changing it. I am going where man wants to control, but doesn't really want to do his part in taking responsibility. Contraception.

• There are many forms of birth control and there are many reasons why women take it.
• Personally, I have been taking oral contraceptives (The Pill) since 1997. I went off it for a while when my husband and I were trying to have a baby. We were told that having a biological child was next to impossible. With my doctor's suggestion, I stayed on The Pill to help alleviate extremely painful menstrual cramps and mood swings due to my period. It worked like a charm. And the best part is I haven't had to buy feminine hygiene products in fourteen years.
• I am on my husband's employer provided health insurance. We are blessed to have top notch coverage. Before the Affordable Care Act was passed I was paying $70 a month for my birth control pills. When I started taking the pills in 1997 I was paying about $20 a month. We always had excellent health coverage and the cost of the pills kept going up and up. At one point I considered stop taking them because the cost was getting too high. I wonder how much a woman with less than ideal health coverage or none at all, pays for the pills?

This is a scenario I imagine if contraception is no longer covered by the government's replacement health care plan or if it is no longer covered at all by insurance.

• Women who do not want to have children or who are not ready to have children could get pregnant. And if anyone suggests abstinence as an answer to that, you need to survey the men of this country. Because remember, it takes sperm from a man and an egg from a woman to make a baby.
• If those women do get pregnant, what are they to do? If Trump has his way and gets a new Supreme Court justice appointed there is a good chance Roe v. Wade will be re-tried and it could be overturned. I'm not crazy about the idea of abortion, but there are so many factors involved.
• Who will help women with these unplanned pregnancies? Who will make sure they get to their pre-natal appointments? Who will be there the day they deliver? If they decide they are not ready to parent who will help them research adoption agencies?
• If they decide to parent, who will help them tell family? Who will help them find adequate and affordable child care? If they do not have supportive family and friends, who will help them get the items needed for a baby? You know, throw them a baby shower - to get a crib, car seat, bottles, diapers, wipes, etc.
• If finances are a concern, who will help them fill out the paperwork to get assistance? Did you know that diapers, wipes and feminine hygiene products are not covered under government assistance? If parents cannot provide enough diapers and wipes to the day care then the baby cannot stay. Which means then the parent cannot go to back. Which means lost pay. You see a pattern here?
• It is time for delivery. Who will be there holding their hand? Who will help them settle into home with a newborn? Who will go over when mom calls and the baby hasn't slept in two days and cries all the time? Who will go over and just hold the baby or sit in the room while baby sleeps so mom can take a shower longer than two minutes?

These are just some of the questions that pop into my mind whenever the conversation about contraception becomes public fodder. And some other thoughts pop into my mind...

• Why is the responsibility for birth control largely fall on the woman's shoulder? Yes, she carries the baby, but she didn't create that baby alone. Men don't want to do their part and wear condoms during sex, but they certainly have plenty of opinions about the character of women who use birth control and what a woman should do if she becomes pregnant.
• Over the years I have heard "pundits" suggest that women who want coverage of birth control are sluts, promiscuous, irresponsible. I wonder, who do these pundits think these women are sleeping with? Men are involved too. But there is never any comment on their personal character.
• Men have their little blue pills covered. You know the one. So, if birth control loses coverage, those little buggers need to be removed too. I mean it, kind of works with the whole abstinence solution, right?

And for those that say a child is not a choice, I disagree. The context I am using is sex between two consenting adults. If both parties agree to it, then both parties are equally responsible. You choose to have sex, you are choosing to do something that may result in the creation of another human life. Both parties better be ready to accept that responsibility. 

We need to look out for each other. We need to listen to each other. We need to listen to hear each other, to understand each other. Just because we disagree doesn't mean we don't care about each other. Remember that. No matter what, we need to look out for each other. Reach out a hand and pull someone along.

Celebrate Life

Today, hubby and I sang with our church choir for a funeral. The gentleman, Chuck, passed away a month ago from a long battle with cancer. I did not know him very long, but I knew he was quiet, a faithful man, loved his wife Elaine fiercely and was devoted to our church. What I didn't realize was that he had been an elementary school teacher and he was a fan of opera - German opera in particular.

His wife Elaine has been a source of inspiration in many ways to me over the years,but in the final months of Chuck's life and especially over these past four weeks, I am inspired even more. She placed Chuck firmly in God's hands. She prayed that he would pass peacefully. She was convinced and content in her belief that Chuck was in Heaven and he was no longer in discomfort. She smiled, at times through tears, but she always had a smile on her face. You could see she was content, she was at peace.

The service today was beautiful. The Scripture talked about leaning on God and trusting in Him. As a choir we sang "How Can I Keep from Singing" (a favorite of Elaine's) and "Jesus Draw Me Nearer (May this Journey)," a favorite of our choir. There were some tears, but there were mostly smiles and laughter.

I left there thinking, "This is the best funeral I have ever been to." Hubby told Elaine that the service was perfect and he wanted the exact same service for him. Elaine felt the music was the service. Everything that was said or sung today from prayers to scripture to music, was a celebration. Celebration of music, which was very important to Elaine and Chuck, a celebration of God's love and promise to us, and of course just the celebration of Chuck's life itself.

Death is not pleasant. I have lost loved ones and friends and it has devastated me. However, I have learned that you cannot dwell in the passing. Their death is just one moment of their life's story. That moment has its place in your heart and mind, but we most focus on all the living moments. Remember their laugh, the music they loved, how they crinkled their nose when they were perplexed, their not so successful cooking attempt, their love of pets. Remember their smile, how their eyes looked when they held their child for the first time, how their hand felt in yours.

Elaine told us she was lonely and that she missed Chuck terribly, but that it was okay. I believe it will be. She will find her way. Of course she is lonely. It is a natural feeling. So as her church family we will love her through it.

She did give us a piece of advice as we gave her hugs and said our goodbyes today. It was quite simple, "Be good to each other."

Be good to each other. Celebrate life. What else is there?

This is a photo we took on a trip to the Adirondacks a couple of years ago. It just seems to peaceful to me.

New Year, New Choices, New Opportunities

2016 has been one hell of a year. It has been difficult for many reasons: the Presidential election, the loss of so many celebrities, gun violence, attacks against police, the rise of ISIS. Personally, I have been challenged as a parent, a wife and just personal physical and emotional struggles. I am ready to see this year end. It started off with the death of a family member. He was 22 years old. He passed away from a heroin overdose. The epidemic I had heard about on news reports was real, was now personal.

As I said, 2016 was one hell of a year. There were lots of good things that happened too: as a family we went to a Phillies game with extended family, met my late cousin's daughter (she is the spitting image of him), we spent some time in Washington DC and Virginia learning more about our nation's history, and watched my daughter face challenges and adjust her thinking to conquer them. This summer my daughter and I got our live music fix with a Kenny Chesney concert and our annual trek to an Eagles Open Practice. We love Philadelphia Eagles football. Personally, I put my political beliefs into action and volunteered for the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this July.

For 2017 I am determined to be positive in my attitude in all things, not be afraid of the unknown, take some risks and finish projects I start. I will put my faith in God and trust that all things happen for a reason. I will remember that I am a Child of God and that He loves me. I am tired of feeling like I am wasting time. Life is short. We don't get a do over. Each day is the only day we have to make an impact, to make our voices heard.

I am happy to say goodbye to 2016 and really looking forward to a fantastic 2017!

I didn't fully realize what was happening till it was over

When was the last time you did something brave?

Brave can be an adjective that means possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance.

I was trying to think of when I did something "brave" and I thought of an incident that happened a few year ago. My daughter was in elementary school at the time and it was just the two of us in the house. I was in our home office working on the computer and she was in the living room watching television. Since my daughter was an infant she made noise. Even when she is not talking, you hear her giggling or doing something with her hands or a game; she always makes noise. When you don't hear noise, you know something is wrong.

This particular day she had grabbed a piece of hard candy. A caramel or something. I could hear her in the living room and then I noticed I didn't hear her. I heard the TV, but not her. I stood up and walked into the living room and there she was standing in the middle of the room, her head sticking out more, her mouth opened and she motioned her hand to her throat. She was choking.

At the time I was a Girl Scout leader and one of the requirements was to be CPR/First Aid certified. I had taken a course given by the American Heart Association and learned about the Heimlich maneuver. While in the class I wondered if I would remember how to do this move in an emergency. I would have my answer today.

I immediately moved toward her, told her that I that I knew she was choking and that I was going to get behind her and help her. She didn't resist and let me start. I wrapped my arms around her, clasped my hands together like I was taught and pulled in and up towards her chest. Nothing happened. I relaxed a brief moment, took a deep breath and told her I was going to do it again. This time I pulled in harder. That time the candy dislodged and out it came of her mouth and fell onto the floor. I let go and immediately examined her face (she never changed color fortunately) and asked her some basic questions: "How do you feel? Does anything hurt? Are you breathing okay?" She was fine. I threw out the candy, pretty sure I gave her some water to sip on and went back into the office.

I sat down in the chair and the adrenaline rush that I was on subsided and my legs and arms went to jelly. I put my head in my hands and exhaled. Oh my God, I just did the Heimlich on my baby, I thought to myself. My strength was gone for a few moments and I was shaky and on the verge of tears. I allowed myself to feel these feelings and then regrouped. I did the Heimlich. In case of an emergency, I could and would remember what to do. A year or two later, I went back for another training in First Aid and CPR. This time I learned out to use the automatic defibrillator machine. Those things are cool.

During the training I offered my story of what I was able to do because of the training I had. I reassured the other participants that they would know what to do in case of an emergency. The skills become innate, automatic and allow you to do the unthinkable. They allow you to be brave.